I can barely say your name anymore you’ve hurt me so much and yet you don’t acknowledge it just masquerade as my saviour, make out where we are, is 100% my fault. Maybe some of it was, maybe 90% was but you could at least take some of the blame. Anyway as we can no longer have a decent conversation I am writing you this letter so you know how much of a cruel bitch you truelly are.
We’ve been together for 12 years and in the beginning it was beautiful, when it was just me and you, before there was other people in the relationship. We used to talk for hours, we had so many dreams, we were going to take over the world, two young souls, the modern day Bonnie and Clyde. Every time I was in your company it was like my safe haven I didn’t have to pretend to anyone, I could be honest because you understood me and we were on the same journey together. I really did love you.
Then when I found my success it started to change, we had been together for 7 years at that point so I could tell we were getting comfortable with each other but the spark was still there which made the petty arguments worthwhile. One thing I didn’t get is why did you always try to take credit for my success as if I didn’t deserve it without you, you were a part of my life and I was thankful for that and I made damn sure you knew it.
Didn’t I give up my friends for you, when I had been working all day I had plenty of opportunities to go out and get smashed with my friends like any other normal 25 year old, find someone new, someone who respected me but no I gave up all of that just to be with you day and night! You would say to me I didn’t deserve any of it, I’m lucky, I’m a bastard! Well i realise now it was only a self reflection on yourself. Now, Let me give you a few home truths:
You did help me when you were nice and respected me but when that went you became a burden to my happiness, you didn’t deserve me. When I was nice to you, you made sure you kept me within the palm of your hand by belittling me, knowing I’m sensitive you took advantage of that… Well fuck you, you controlling bitch! Made me lie to my friend’s and family just so i could be with you. Made me anxious when I had opportunities to spend time away from you so I gave up my other life just for someone who doesnt respect me. You even brought me to the edge of bankruptcy but I still made sure you were ok and reassured you it wasn’t your fault. I’ve let so many people down because of you!
We could of had it all but I’m walking away because we are toxic together and as much as i still love you, its wrong to stay together just for that reason because when I’m old and alone on my death bed I’ll look at you with nothing but contempt and resentment so I’m doing you this favour – go find someone else and make their life miserable I’m done.
So I’ll say my final farewell to you film industry. Its been a long ride I have been thankful for helping me get to where I am but we need a long break and hopefully in the future we can look at each other again the same way we looked at each other when we first met and watched ‘its a wonderful life’ together. Goodbye my first love.